Boner Contention

About the Artist

Bio: Boner Contention is a hamstring-pulling, prostate-probing love letter to everything that makes hard music hard. The band explores the collective midlife crisis of five men who refuse to accept that heavy metal peaked when they were fifteen. They proudly lick every flavour of metal, from lithium to zinc. Fuelled by tendon-twisting riffs, back-aching beats, and the sort of dark-web muscle relaxers usually reserved for ageing racehorses, they're a vulgar display of rechargeable power, so electric they can't get through domestic airport security screening! Elon Musk has reportedly approached them about coating his next Mars rocket in their music. Their bodies may fall apart, but the metal never will. Fronted by pro-am snake milker Dave Eastgate and real estate mogul Daniel Steffe, there's only one thing you need to know: BONER CONTENTION IS THE HARDEST BAND ON THE PLANET (ARGUABLY). Song Info: Following the explosive release of their debut track, "Heavy Metal Heaven", the Gold Coast, Australia based metal madmen, Boner Contention, are back to soundtrack your worst hangover with their crushing new single, "Death March." While their debut ‘Heavy Metal Heaven’ explored the physical toll of the mosh pit, "Death March" tackles an even more brutal reality for the middle-aged headbanger: the agonising, mundane reality of waking up on the bathroom floor with a skull-crushing headache, severe saliva drought, and a lifetime of regrets. Blending the relentless, stomping weight of Metallica's "Sad But True" with the evil, dissonant aggression of Slayer's "South of Heaven," "Death March" is a punishing slow groove metal monster. It proves you don't need speed to be undeniably heavy. The track frames the morning after not as a joke, but as a brutal war of attrition where sunlight is a weapon, the toilet is torture, and existence is a punishment. Driven by down-tuned, sludgy riffs and booming drums that hit like a rhythmic migraine right behind the eyes, the song is a deliberate, agonisingly heavy stomp. Featuring frontman Dave Eastgate's raw, aggressive bark and backed by real estate mogul Daniel Steffe's sludgy, overdriven onslaught, "Death March" mimics the exact sensation of a spike being driven through your temples. Boner Contention continues to explore the collective midlife crisis of five men who refuse to accept that heavy metal peaked when they were fifteen. As they proudly declare, their bodies may fall apart, but the metal never will.